Dear Neighbor

You are being very loud right now and due to the fact that I am unable to make myself deaf, I am unable to sleep. This isn't a one time sort of thing, I'm pretty sure you are the reason I have become partially nocturnal. Which in a way helps me fulfill my dream of being an owl. People called it being weird, I call it being an individual.

But anyways, let's just be honest here. I understand that you love your drums. I understand you are going to be the next Travis Barker. But honestly? If this continues I will be forced to ask God to rain velociraptors and rhinoceros onto your house. Then I shall take a velociraptor and name him Skippy, and anyone that ever reads this blog will want to come visit. 

If you don't want a backyard full of rhinoceros and velociraptors (why wouldn't you?!), I would advise you to find something else to bang on at night. Or someone. Thousands of woman are probably profusely attracted to your mad banging skills. Indulge in the fruits of  your labor, dammit, and let me sleep.