So today I was just snacking on some gummy vites, because they're good for me, and absolutely delicious. Of course normally the gummy vites I eat have a serving size of 3 so I figure my body can handle 12. And it has been working pretty well for the whole duration of gummy vite eating life. But then today:
TWO. Serving size of TWO. My God, this is madness. It's like giving a crack addict a bottle full of cocaine then saying he can only snort a line a day. I mean shit. But this got me thinking... what would actually happen if I overdosed on vitamins? I thought of this:
So here I am just chilling, popping a couple gummy vites.
I know that I'm at about 12, but they're just way to good. So a keep going:
When all of a sudden!
At first I'm a little sorry. I mean I'm hurting them! But then as a think about it, I become enraged.
How dare my kidney's talk to me like that! I am their God damn master. MASTER. I control them. Who're they calling asshole?! So out of retribution, I keep eating.
And the weird thing is, nothing happens. My kidney's don't ache a little like their bitchy little whiny selves probably would after having to filter 500% of my daily vitamin A. So life goes on.
Then, soon after... while relieving myself of a couple extra pounds....
My kidney's strike back.
And then I realize the consequence of my actions.
After the initial depression and countless hours of dialysis, I would bring it upon myself to write a letter to the Gummy Vite Corporation.
And they would not respond.
The end.
And that is how I would most likely lose my kidneys. But see, I don't understand why they put so many vitamins in just one gummy vite. Why not make the serving size ten, because that's how much most people I know take. It's like a good business move... less vitamins per bottle of gummy vites, people go through the bottles faster. All that means is more money for Gummy Vite Corp! (If that's what they're called).
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